The Comparison Book. (“Why Her,” by Nicki Koziarz, Book Review.)

Why her?

Too much stock in another person’s life can deplete the amount of joy we are able to extract from our own share. How do we combat comparison in a social media driven age, where we can simply sit and scroll into a dissatisfied abyss from the comfort of the couch? It seems like an impossible pitfall to avoid, let alone cope with or climb out of. But Jesus reminds us, “With man this is impossible, but all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 (NIV)

A follow up to her first book, 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit, Nicki Koziarz tackles a difficult topic through Why Her?: 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind, determining to deliver the message on comparison that God laid on her heart. Her faithfulness to do it authentically and honesty will undoubtably help readers flick the chip of comparison off of their shoulders.

I highly recommend this book!

Through the story of Rachel and Leah in the book of Genesis, Nicki Koziarz guides her audience through six truths to understanding and overcoming comparison. A topic that everyone struggles with, her approach and guidance is practical and authentic. The lessons that Nicki introduces and teaches are fresh from her universally relatable, everyday struggles. From common regrets to PTO problems, this book will have readers laughing and wishing they could high-five Nicki!

“The Bible is always relevant, because it reveals deeply rooted truths that never expire.” -Nicki Koziarz, “Why Her.”

Old Testament Biblical stories can be difficult to navigate through, but Nicki takes her readers on a journey that is unbelievably relatable to the time we live in now. In a society saturated in social media, comparison can easily creep into our comfort zone. Empowered by Scripture, and who God says we are, readers of “Why Her” will be able to scroll through news feeds and walk through life aware and prepared to deal with comparison in a positive way.

“If we’re honest, we’ll realize some parts of our own stories are still being written. And if we rush to cover up those pieces of our lives that lend themselves the most to comparison, we’ll miss the powerful story of redemption that God is in the middle of writing.” -Nicki Koziarz, “Why Her.”

Of the rich revelations uncovered in this book, my person highlight was realizing that being offended was a stance that I was choose to take. Another rich truth that sunk into my soul was the revelation that just because I don’t always get what I am aiming for, doesn’t mean I did anything wrong. It just isn’t always mine.

“God’s promises are not only for reading and meditating on. There are times when we must fight to believe them and receive them for our lives.” -Nicki Koziarz, “Why Her.”

In a rough moment on a hard day, I recently found a letter my Grandma wrote to me when I was thirteen. “Keep your standards high, as they are now,” she encouraged. “Stay sweet and beautiful.” The constant strive to keep up with my busy life had left little time to reflect on who I was anymore. Through tears, I prayerfully admitted that I had not kept my standards high at times, and it cost me dearly, every time. But the beautiful thing about Christ is His personal love for us. His grace washes away what I cannot take back, leaving the sweet and beautiful, innocent thirteen year old girl to shine through once again. 

Reading through the last of the six truths of this book, Nicki’s words rang with God’s affirmation of my Gram’s encouraging letter. In a rush to strive and achieve and impress, I fail to pause and glance at my own reflection. Maybe out of fear, or disappointment, in what could have been or I wish would be.  But this book has given me practical steps and vivid reminders to help me shut the comparative chatter down.

” I don’t know why it feels so hard to see the goodness of God in our lives. I don’t know why we’re often only able to see it in others. I just know if we’re not careful to stay in the reality of God’s love and goodness, we’ll slip into a place where our souls become unwell and we’ll miss what’s right in front of us.” -Nicki Koziarz, Why Her.

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell into house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6 

This book is a quick and fun read, because of Nicki’s relatable tone and fun real life applications. Yet, it’s deep and rooted firmly in Scriptural, life-changing, truth. I highly recommend this book to women who struggle with comparison, or maybe just feel an emptiness or uneasiness about an area of their lives. 

Happy Reading!


(I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.)



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