Sunny&80The Laundry …Tackling Tough Transitions.
Posted on March 20, 2019
Folding teeny tiny t-shirts filled my heart to the brim with joy for many years. I never would have dreamed of sharing laundry duty, or even calling it a duty to begin with. Silently changing padding through the house to switch loads while first daughter napped felt like heaven on earth.
Time is tricky.
Somehow, over the years, laundry became a burden. You guys …laundry DOES NOT fill my heart to the brim with joy now! It’s fills my laundry room to capacity and completely overwhelms me. The sheer amount of the whole family’s laundry causes me to DREAD IT all the way to Target to buy more underwear instead of separating ALL OF THE LOADS. I’d love to tell you that was the first time I’ve done that …but it absolutely wasn’t.
Time tends to turn the gift of socks laying on the floor into annoyances that set us fuming. What was once a joyful reminder of people filling my life and my home is now one more thing I can’t figure out how to squeeze into a limited amount of time. The older my kids get, the faster time slips by. I can’t stop it, and I can’t seem to figure out how to train my people to pick there socks up off the floor so that I can re-allocate the 3.5 seconds it takes me to pick them up and walk them to the laundry room.
As I prayed and prepared to start “book-fasting” to ready my life and soul for book baby #2, I knew something had to be done about the overwhelming amount of laundry I caught myself dragging down stairs and dumping. It was time to turn it over. When what once brought us joy begins to wear on us, it may be time to turn it over. I was delaying the complete laundry turnover, partly because I didn’t trust them to do it right, and partly because I think deep down this momma was dealing with …change.
Transitions are tough. All change requires adjustment. I prefer proven processes. Turning over requires letting go. Every time my children are able to accomplish something without me, I’m reminded they aren’t mine to hold onto. They are God’s, and I have to let go, piece by piece, and let them flourish and learn and create their own processes, trusting good seeds have been planted and firm roots are being watered.
It was hard to let go of the laundry.
The left the piles accumulate and it took days fold and put it all away. The wet loads left in the washer had to be re-washed. I let them do it. I let all of the lessons be learned. The empty space I feel when I finish my laundry and no one else’s is a catch 22.
My kids don’t need me to do laundry their anymore. I thought I needed to reallocate my time to push a book baby out. God was making room for new conversations my daughters need me to be fully present in.
He goes before us so efficiently, asking us to set things down so we are able to pick up new things. Raising kids produces a lot of laundry. It has to be washed, but it’s not the most important thing. Let it pile up while He clears room for important conversations. Let them do it, and feel the full weight of their laundry. All of the clean stuff they shove into those hampers …let them carry it all down and wash it, and fold it and put it away again. Maybe they’ll start wearing some of that stuff more than once. Maybe they’ll learn some new things.
Everyday older we get the closer we are to the next transition. Let’s not fear it, but embrace them all, knowing God will faithfully keep us busy with new things …new changes …new conversations.
Happy Transitioning,
Megs
Rip it Off …Love While Healing.
Posted on February 13, 2019
Motherhood is like ripping band-aids off before the wounds have scabbed over. My hurts are exposed before they’ve healed. Before my kids started to grow up and experience deeper hurts, I could leave mine safely covered by the bandaids. While they remained covered and healing, I played in the park and participated in back yard picnics. I strolled down to the water and all over town to explore everything new alongside their innocent souls.
The Bible says that children are a sign of God’s blessing. My life is living proof.
“Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3 NLT
In ancient times, children represented more than just a possession, as inferred in this verse. They represented heritage, “without children the inheritance of the land would be lost.” (NIV Study Bible Notes.) Our job as parents is to set them on the right path, and keep them on it or as close to it as we can …but the final decision on their direction is up to them.
My kids didn’t know me before them, or see how becoming the mom they needed me to be pulled me out of a dark season, set me back on my feet and renewed my faith. They were indeed a “more than I could ever ask for or imagine” blessing that I didn’t deserve.
I can no longer hide the places the darkness has touched behind picnics and park playdates. Now, my mistakes have the power to protect my daughters if I cut them in on the healing. The Bible says to be wise we have to share our mistakes in hopes our children are less apt to repeat them.
“My children, listen when your father corrects you. Pay attention and learn good judgement, for I am giving you good guidance. Don’t turn away from my instructions. For, I, too was once my father’s son, tenderly loved as my mother’s child.” Proverbs 4:1-3
This is Solomon, one of the wisest people ever to live, advising his son not to repeat his mistakes. Parent from a place of compassion.
“You’re going to make mistakes,” I told my daughter during one of our after school hear to hearts, “and sometimes things just happen to you.”
She looked at me as if I couldn’t possibly understand what that was like, so I ripped off a band-aid.
“I don’t like to think about it,” I continued, “but it’s hard to forget.”
I know all too well how one mistake can taint years of hard work. The pain of loss …the shattering hurt of a broken heart …and the failure to prepare that derails dreams. I’ve lived through everything crumbling. I watched 9/11 happen on live TV. I know what it feels like to travel down a road approved by everyone else …but me …and certainly not God. I’ve been the victim unfair circumstances. I know what it feels like to turn on my heels and run, dig a hole too deep to climb out of, and crawl back to Christ.
In the ten steps it took my daughter her to cross the room, her tears transformed from anger to empathy, loneliness to loved, ashamed to understood.
In the midst of my beautiful mess, God showed me who He made. I’m very careful not to glorify, excuse or leave out the painful consequences of my choices. Nor the unfair kind of pain we suffer from at the hand of someone or something else. As time marches on, mom becomes a little more human. It’s hard for my daughters to believe I could ever be anyone but who they perceive me to be …but it’s crucial they understand who I am. I’m never ready to rip off a band-aid, but I persevere so my kids have a choice to escape the some wounds, and reconcile why others happen to them. Mother’s will do anything to protect their children.
“Why does God let us chose, Mom?” she asked.
“What if we didn’t have to?” I asked, “Or, get to?”
God is good. He doesn’t need anything from us, but we need Him. When I am tempted to go back and re-defeat myself over a season that God has proclaimed victorious He reminds me, “you are the same girl I have always loved.”
We are so tempted to equate our worth to our actions, mistakes and accomplishments. Walking with Christ inspires us to do better, but we will never outgrow mistakes and consequences, nor outrun pain and suffering, this side of heaven.
His love for us never changes. Just like I will never see my daughters or love them less because of mistakes, who we are to Him doesn’t change. What a gift in perspective, motherhood is.
Happy Healing, Megs 🙂
Megs
The Picture Pages (#jammed daily devo, day 346)
Posted on December 12, 2018
December #jammed: Grace, given.
Day 346: Picture this…
Pages and pages of pictures flipped over as the newly arrived books were broken in on 
the sinking sofa cushions. Hours and hours of memories came alive off of those pages. Smiles and laughs and salty sea air. Sandy shoes and climbed dunes. Campfires and rollercoaster rides …their lives printed out.
The hours it takes to put those books together bleeds into day and weeks. Yet, all of the time and photos that are included in the final cut are a mere fraction of the fun we’ve had over that year of their lives. It’s getting harder now, as they get older, to find the time to maintain the tradition. Some of the others are fading into the background now, and time is speeding up so fast I can barely maintain the minimum requirements.
Is this how it is supposed to be? Does the feeling of being a first-time mom ever go away?
Today’s verse instructs parents not to crush their child’s spirit. I can’t imagine a crushing moment being included in any of those volumes. Yet, they’re there. They’ve been just as much a part of our days as the smiles we fight for. And it is a fight.
Parenting is a pendulum that swings from compassion to discipline. In the middle there is the perfect mix. If anyone ever finds it, let me know. Until then, the strategy is to cope the best we can in knowing we are not going to parent perfectly. There will be crushing moments. Moments that today’s verse reminds not to let happen on our watch.
What happens when we’ve crushed a spirit? Where do we go from there?
We remember.
Remember the babe in the manger prophesied to come when He came. Remember the child raised by a mother and father, and a man who stepped into His calling at just the right time. Even Jesus had to wait on God’s will. He lived a human life for a long time before He began performing miracles and drafting apostles.
Remember Him.
There is a reason He came to earth as a baby, grew up as a child …as a teenager! We won’t walk the earth in the perfect way He did, but we can trust that He’s been here.
When a crushed spirt is looking back at us, remember Him …and that we are not Him. Apologizing to our children takes the victory out of our enemy’s hands, and back into the hands of Jesus.
Even if we have to give ourselves the same pep-talk hundreds of times daily, keep enduring the apology. Keep going back. Keep trying. In due time, if we follow Christ with all of our hearts, the harvest will follow.
Father, Praise You for our children, and for the patience to have survived this much of parenthood so far. Thank You for the lessons that You teach us through the children we were meant to lead back to You. Forgive us for losing it -our patience, our composure, and our sanity -and crushing our childrens’ sprits. Repair what we cannot, Father, and may they always hear Your voice above all others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Get the conversation started by commenting below, and let’s encourage one another as we face life in 2017 armed with grace!
#greatgrace17
Happy Un-crushing,
Megs
Get the #jammed Daily Devo sent straight to your inbox each morning, by subscribing to Sunny&80.
The Picture Pages (#jammed daily devo, day 346)
Posted on December 12, 2017
December #jammed: Grace, given.
Day 346: Picture this…
Pages and pages of pictures flipped over as the newly arrived books were broken in on the sinking sofa cushions. Hours and hours of memories came alive off of those pages. Smiles and laughs and salty sea air. Sandy shoes and climbed dunes. Campfires and rollercoaster rides …their lives printed out.
The hours it takes to put those books together bleeds into day and weeks. Yet, all of the time and photos that are included in the final cut are a mere fraction of the fun we’ve had over that year of their lives. It’s getting harder now, as they get older, to find the time to maintain the tradition. Some of the others are fading into the background now, and time is speeding up so fast I can barely maintain the minimum requirements.
Is this how it is supposed to be? Does the feeling of being a first-time mom ever go away?
Today’s verse instructs parents not to crush their child’s spirit. I can’t imagine a crushing moment being included in any of those volumes. Yet, they’re there. They’ve been just as much a part of our days as the smiles we fight for. And it is a fight.
Parenting is a pendulum that swings from compassion to discipline. In the middle there is the perfect mix. If anyone ever finds it, let me know. Until then, the strategy is to cope the best we can in knowing we are not going to parent perfectly. There will be crushing moments. Moments that today’s verse reminds not to let happen on our watch.
What happens when we’ve crushed a spirit? Where do we go from there?
We remember.
Remember the babe in the manger prophesied to come when He came. Remember the child raised by a mother and father, and a man who stepped into His calling at just the right time. Even Jesus had to wait on God’s will. He lived a human life for a long time before He began performing miracles and drafting apostles.
Remember Him.
There is a reason He came to earth as a baby, grew up as a child …as a teenager! We won’t walk the earth in the perfect way He did, but we can trust that He’s been here.
When a crushed spirt is looking back at us, remember Him …and that we are not Him. Apologizing to our children takes the victory out of our enemy’s hands, and back into the hands of Jesus.
Even if we have to give ourselves the same pep-talk hundreds of times daily, keep enduring the apology. Keep going back. Keep trying. In due time, if we follow Christ with all of our hearts, the harvest will follow.
Father, Praise You for our children, and for the patience to have survived this much of parenthood so far. Thank You for the lessons that You teach us through the children we were meant to lead back to You. Forgive us for losing it -our patience, our composure, and our sanity -and crushing our childrens’ sprits. Repair what we cannot, Father, and may they always hear Your voice above all others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Get the conversation started by commenting below, and let’s encourage one another as we face life in 2017 armed with grace!
#greatgrace17
Happy Un-crushing,
Megs
Get the #jammed Daily Devo sent straight to your inbox each morning, by subscribing to Sunny&80.
The Intentional Compliment
Posted on November 4, 2016
“I’m weird,” my girl sighed. “I don’t always feel like I fit in here.”
I launched into the infamous “God made you perfect” speech through a lump in my throat …but I knew very well it wouldn’t single-handedly cure the eight-year-old aches.
“It’s OK, Mom…I’m weird,” she continued, “it’s a good weird.”
My daughter has the same potential as all other girls to have highly dramatic and face-twisting over-rations, but I love who she is. A Jedi, a wizard, a thrift-rack surfer. With a book in her hand and a never-ending eight-count to her step, she’s in love with laughing… and I’m fiercely protective of her adopting any shred of the insecurity and comparison that fight me.
On the cusp of the “awkward” years, I’m keenly aware that the validity of my opinion on just about everything is about to drop off dramatically. Now is the time to intentionally buoy her light bright, to bob unscathed amidst an egocentric society.
Know love to love.
“God is love.” 1John4:16b
It’s not the happy ending of a rom-com or the heart flutter when Justin Bieber takes the stage … God is love. He loves perfectly, and He loves us whether we choose to acknowledge Him or not …and regardless of what we do or do not do. Built in His image, we’re programmed to love.
” Love comes straight from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and truly knows God. ” 1John 4:7-8
Discipline and consequences are necessary to raise healthy humans, but overly harsh 
criticism is not. If I look for ways to build my kids up in love, they will look for a way to do so for others.
Yes, it’s annoying when cereal and milk is spilled all over the floor, but insults don’t have to be built into my reaction. No, she doesn’t match perfectly all of the time, but killing her creative spirit and hurting her feelings over an outfit she’s proud of isn’t going to build confidence. I’m a big proponent of apologizing to my kids …mostly because of the mistakes I make.
Kids have to know that they are God’s children entrusted to us, and that He loves them perfectly even when we do not. In acknowledging God sovereignty, we learn what it means to be loved.
Look to love for how to love.
“Brianne, I want you to find something nice to say to ___ today,” I instructed my eight 
year old.
“Why?” she asked with an ever-so-charming look that could fry an an ant five miles away.
“Because…”
Why? How do I convince her to love on others when she’s mainly concerned about getting through elementary school without becoming a target, herself?
In the grown up world, the same struggle is manifested daily through social media. I deactivated my account when I lost the ability to look into the mirror confidently. It was freeing, not knowing what everyone was doing all of the time. But then I sat in church, and felt like a wimp hiding in the corner.
“This is the culture we are called to reach,” Pastor preached.
I sighed out loud. Come on, Jesus … really? There?
To walk in love is to walk with Jesus …wherever. God sent Him here to walk out love on earth, and we’re called to at least try. I don’t want to go out of my comfort zone any more than my daughter does. Jesus, without qualifying people or weighing what He would have to sacrifice, just loved on people. And when we follow His lead, we learn how to love.
“I chase only after glory for the One who sent Me. My intention is authentic and true. You’ll find no wrong motives in Me.” John 7:16
Yes… I want to be like that.
“Did you tell ____ what I told you to?” I followed up…
“Yep,” she said, beaming.
“Felt good, didn’t it?” I asked.
“It really did, mom …and I’m going to make sure _____ is OK at school from now on.”
I’m back on Facebook …and it bothers me most of the time. It’s a lot easier for me to turn it off and walk away …but that’s not the mission. Just as I teach Brianne to look for peers that need love, I need to look where my peers are to do the same.
Intentionally turn out to face your circle. Look for ways to love. Hashtag it. Love it. Share it. #wherever
All it takes is a scan of the hurt that surrounds to remind me of how precious and fleeting time with my girl is. I pray I’m able to fill those minutes with the knowledge of God’s love and the example of it that Jesus lived. True love lived out in her life will allow her light to shine amidst the storms that await.
Unlike my experience as a hometown Cleveland girl and sports fan …love winning in the end is a sure thing.
Happy Complimenting!!
Megs
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