Every once in a while, my kids say something that causes my husband and I to roll with laughter. Inappropriate or not, sometimes they simply crack us up. Those are treasured moments in my heart…the spontaneous break out of laughter and smiles…and utmost silliness. Knowing that they earned a well deserved laugh, both of my girls will do the same thing as an encore. They will push the limit of silliness until someone ends up in trouble or hurt or both. They ALWAYS they take it too far. However, the momentary bursts of laughter that stick around in my mind long after the mess has been cleaned up have become some of my favorite one-liners of all time. I am laughing to myself as I write this, recalling my some of their marquee moments.
“Lauren, how do you know you are allergic to dogs?” her Papa asked her one day, investigating her claim of an allergy to dogs (which is completely made up). ”
“I ate a dog, and then I ‘bawfed,'” she explained, frankly.
My younger daughter, Lauren, spits out made up wacky nonsense on the spot. Her older sister, Brianne, seems to stew on a situation for a little while before flooring us with her remark. The most recent circling around the traditional “Thanksgiving Dinner” that the school cafeteria serves each year.
Since I unpack most of the lunch I pack for her to eat each day, Brianne has never been allowed to buy her lunch. It just doesn’t seem like a good investment to me. It’s impossible for her to say everything she has to say to her girlfriends at lunch AND eat everything during the part of their lunch period when they are all forced move their mouths only to chew food. So when I asked her if she wanted me to put some money in her account to buy lunch that day, she looked at me as if it were a trick question. I could see her inwardly recalling each and every time I’d told her “No” to buying lunch…even on mini corn dog day.
She couldn’t make up her mind on the spot. Apparently, there were a lot of elements to consider. “Buyers” sat at a different table than those that packed their lunch. Take a trip back into your mind and revisit your lunch table friends. It’s a reasonable thing to consider.
“Do you want me to tell you what kind of food they are serving that day, to help you decide?” I asked.
“Sure…” she said, looking off into the distance as if to imagine what the food looked like.
“Chicken nuggets in the shape of drumsticks, mashed potatoes and gravy, peaches, and a pumpkin dessert,” I started rattling off the menu.
“Wait” she interrupted, “what kind of pumpkin dessert…is it pumpkin pie?”
“No guarantee, it just says pumpkin dessert.”
“I’ll think about it and let you know tomorrow, Mom,” she decided.
The following day my husband and I were sitting around the island in the kitchen talking to Brianne about her day. She was proudly showing us the turkey book she made at school, when I remembered to follow-up with her about “Thanksgiving Dinner” at school the next day.
“Brianne, did you decide whether or not you want to buy your lunch tomorrow so you can eat Thanksgiving Dinner at school?” I asked.
The look on her face was hysterical…so perplexed…as if she’d been around and around with this for the complete twenty-four hours she’d been given to consider her options. I knew that she was going to decline because she’d be separated from her best little buddies…who were all trying to crack each other on who they had picked for their secret santa exchange…I was ready with an encouraging word of acceptance for her.
“Well, Mom…” she began…”I would have to sit by at the buyer’s table…” here came the response I was waiting for…” and I can’t have all that ranch around me.”
“Oh, that’s OK…” I started in…” WAIT- WHAT?”
“Everyday they serve carrots with lunch…and they all dip them in ranch,” she explained as her face turned with disgust.
“I can’t have all that ranch around me.”
The kitchen blew up with laughter, to say the least. She hadn’t even been able to get past the presence of ranch dressing…which totally grosses her out…to consider that she might be parted from her friends. Hysterical.
Isn’t it funny how comfortable we become in our daily lives and routines, that even a waft of ranch dressing is enough to deter us from experiencing something different. I thought about that while I was out running today. Since God began healing my back, I’ve gained a renewed sense of purpose in it, and decided to train for a half marathon. Determined that pain wasn’t going to stop me, I iced my back after every run, thankful just to be out there. Long run days, especially, seem to bring tears of rejoicing and gratefulness. It’s been the coolest experience of my life.
Now four weeks into the schedule, I’m starting to remember what it feels like to build up mileage. It takes a lot of ice, for one thing. One day my left shin hurts, another day my right foot hurts in a weird spot, then one day my neck is killing me, then another the top of my right foot is in searing pain with each stride. Most of these pains die down after a little rest and a lot of ice, and none of them hold a candle to when my back was fused…or the thoughts of facing a lifetime with an incurable disease that came with it! So grateful….but so don’t want to smell a little ranch.
It’s laughable….it really is…to think of the minute things we let hold our minds back some days. And why isn’t our faith more automatic. Why do we avoid the buyers table so we don’t have to be exposed to the plethora of ranch dressing that’s always there. Why do I run for the ice pack as if it’s the holy grail to my running injuries…when God, himself, just healed one so big and awkward that no ice pack would fit.
Pray first, ice later.
“Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2Cor4:16-18, NIV